Girlie Part Doctor

Alright, so I went to the doctor today and I had thought that he would cure my pain, I was wrong.

I probably do have endometriosis; my uterus is enlarged, i am having extremely heavy periods with huge clots and break through bleeding during my cycle. I’ve had zero sex drive for a couple years now, I’ve been having allergy issues for about a year, which i have not had before; fatigue ALWAYS, migraines, and obviously chronic pelvic pain.

But of course insurance is not going to pay for a scope to get an absolute diagnosis until i jump through all their hoops, go through months more of pain trying out different things to alleviate it and whatever else they’re going to make me do. Step one, I have to take birth control for three months and then go back to the doctor and see how it is in January. Then I guess he will do an MRI.

The whole entire reason that I got fixed in the first place is because I am terrified of medication, especially birth control because it can literally kill you. Birth control pills can cause high blood pressure and blood clots, they have FOUR possible fatal side effects {THAT MEANS YOU CAN DIE}; pulmonary embolism, deep vein thrombosis, heart attack or stroke! I don’t think I am going to be able to do this, I’m so scared.

We picked it up today, I just have to get the balls to start taking it. If I want them to get rid of my pain I have to do what I have to do I guess. I’ve been reading about endometriosis and birth control is apparently one of the main treatments so maybe it will fix my pain, I don’t know. I’m just so tired it has been nearly 4 weeks of pain, ridiculous. What if it fixes my pain just in time to kill me?

I’m going to research natural methods, cures or whatever you know. You know me, I have to find ways to cure myself because the doctors here can’t fix me, most of them are morons. I won’t be able to do this for a while I don’t think. But I just can’t keep living with this pain, I just can’t, it’s miserable.

I am just gonna have to fix myself. I don’t know how Tim keeps tolerating his foot pain for years, just a living with it. I don’t understand how people can just fucking live in pain and misery. It’s like they accept it as the way it was meant to be. Well no, it isn’t. I’m not going to, I refuse to.

I’m going to to find a way to take care of myself, because there’s no way in hell I’m going to live the rest of my life like this. I’m not going to live a year like this, or another month. Part of me feels like I should see another doctor, but the one I saw today is probably one of the best ones that are in this town, period. So, if I’m going to see someone else I’m going to have to go out of town, not so simple for a girl who doesn’t even know how to drive.

2 Comments on “Girlie Part Doctor

  1. Im So sorry Sil , That all fucking sucks so bad , I am sorry that your having to go through all of that .I never knew all the side effects from Birth control pills or even Blood pressure meds , That is some Scary shit, I hope you get to feeling better and I hope your Bleeding stops. My sweet and Gorgeous friend. P.S. people live with pain because they are forced to .

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