Day One: No Sleep

They changed meds and now she’s back in the hospital, serotonin syndrome hit again! My experience with her starts at about 2330 last night…i finally got to sleep not too long before and she wakes me up with a cup of coffee.

“Why?” I asked. “you wanted a cup”, she replied. “No, i was asleep”, i said. Quite upset, she replied, “no, i asked you if i could make a cup and you told me to just make a pot so you can have one!” I didn’t.

That was the beginning of one long night. She couldn’t get to sleep. She would lie down for a couple minutes, almost be asleep then bam, she’s up and babbling incoherently. Almost every time she would go straight to the kitchen. Must hand it to Slade, he was pretty good on keeping her out of trouble and taking her back into her room.

She tried cooking links and potato patties and made another cup of coffee. She poored a glass of milk. She turned on the burner and put her cup of coffee on it. At one point she went in to get something to eat and started messing with Tyler’s ramen he was cooking, she took it off the burner and was stirring it when i got in there to see why she was up again.

She tried getting the cat ready for a bath. Had conversations with nobody, asked Tyler where Anjel went and got real angry when he said she hadn’t been here. She tried to tighten Lucian’s collar saying i told her it was too loose. I took him away.

Finally, at 0300 i gave up trying to sleep and got up to do dishes. She comes in and stands there. I asked if she was okay. She responded, “i won’t be if someone don’t give me some crackers!”. I told her there was a box of cereal right there. She asked for a bowl. I handed it to her and she filled it and handed it to me. I asked what she was doing. “You wanted a bowl of cereal”.

I told her on many different occasions over the night that i wanted her to stop taking her new meds. She would get angry every time. She said she can’t handle the withdrawals. I told her that’s impossible as she’s only been in them a few four or five.

At 0530 i had to leave for work, i had no choice, i can’t have anybody pulling a double, i just had to suck it up. I started msging Desiree and Sean, i needed one or both of them to babysit her and decide if she should go in. Was unable to reach Sean but after a few hours of msging Desiree on all platforms possible she got right up and came to my house. She is the sister in never had, for sure!

Ultimately, she took her to the hospital. They waited quite a while and finally got her in triage. Anjel got too anxious with her behaviour and she traded with Desiree. Carizma didn’t like that, as Desiree is the one who brought her there. They kicked her out and called a code gray. I looked it up.

“Code Gray” is one of the standardized Hospital Emergency Codes, and alerts all staff to potentially or actively combative persons. These range from stubborn patients, to abusive friends and relatives thereof, to literally anyone being thoroughly unpleasant within hospital confines…including other staff with grievances. See credit below.

Security guards went back and they basically put her on lock down for nearly three hours. Then we demand information and the nurse came out and told is they had to give her haldol to calm her down. She said they were getting ready to move her to the psych ward and for us to go there in about ten minutes to see her.

We went there in about twenty and they didn’t have her or any orders to receive her and they sent us back to e.r. So we went back and they said she was asking for me. Once i got to her i was pretty certain she did not actually request me.

The nurse guarding those rooms told me she took off all her clothes and he didn’t feel comfortable trying to dress her. She had thrown her clothes across the room and was wrapped in a blanket, sitting on the bed. Took about ten minutes, but i coaxed her into her clothes.

She was in no way coherent the entirety of my visit outside of one teeny time, she bent over to pick up something invisible and she started crying that she didn’t want to be there and was scared they’d keep her for a long time. This lasted maybe twenty seconds and that’s probably pushing it, then she was picking up her tattoo cream and dabbing it on.

[I finally slept after 42 hours]

Through all this she was periodically “picking up her vape” and taking puffs. She walked into the wall a few times and laughed, she said it was the third time she’d done that. She played with her “cat” at one time she freaked out it lost too much weight and i told her he would get better cause we had gotten antibiotic from the vet and she calmed down and moved on to other things.

I really wish i could remember more details but i was so sleep deprived i just can’t remember specific things she was saying, most all of nonsense.

I called this morning to check on her, the nurse was irritated, told me i just called her. I said, “what? I JUST woke up…” she said. “Oh, what’s your name?”. I told her and she said, “ok, well i can’t give you any information, there is no release of information.”. Of course i started crying. I said, “what am i suppose to do, do i need to get a lawyer? She isn’t going to sign anything, she’s incoherent.”. She replied, “good point, let me look into our options.” She put me on hold for about a minute.

She came back and said, “we need to have the release of information, so come on in this morning and we’ll get her to sign it.”. I asked if she can at least tell me if she’s okay. She said she can tell me nothing. (They did last time before she signed it), i think she was just being a bitch.

I don’t get it, how can she sign it while she’s incoherent and it be legal? If she can sign that and it be legal and if she can sign her rights over to them like last time and it was legal, than she should be able to sign over guardianship to me and it be legal.

Maybe i should contact a lawyer. I live on basically mininum wage, i doubt they’d see me anyway. I don’t know what to do.

Poor Service

Some towns just have awful medical service; unfortunately, mine is one of them.

Two weeks ago i went to the emergency room for pain, i couldn’t tell if it was my girlie parts or my back. There was nobody else there triage called me back literally as i sat down. And he got me right back into a room after doing vitals and asking questions, he told me my nurse would be in shortly.

Shortly turned in to nearly an hour before i finally got up and started making my way to the nurses station. A girl walked past me and i asked her if they forgot about me. She irritatedly replied that they didn’t and doctor would be in when she can, and kept walking. I went back to the room, which was a bed with no sheet, door and curtains wide opened and i could see the nurses station. Why was nobody checking on me?

I sat there a bit longer and decided maybe i should ask somebody at the actual nurses station. So i got up and started back over there. By the way, i didn’t push the call button because there wasn’t one.

The guy looked up and said, “can i help you?”. I asked him if they forgot about me. He rudely answered, “nobody forgot about you, you just have to wait til the doctor is free to see you.”

I went back to the bed. At this point it’s been over an hour, normally you get a nurse who introduces themself, someone does your vitals, they offer a blanket, and they shut the curtains for privacy. At least i had entertainment.

I could see the staff hanging out and enjoying their freetime. And i could hear them all laughing and making fun of the emt that called in a heart attack they were bringing in. Pretty unprofessional but whatever.

Two hours after my arrival doctor finally came in. She said she’d do an ultrasound to check for a cyst, do some blood work, gave me some pain meds and left me to be. The morphine was a relief, it didn’t kill the pain but took the edge off.

Ultrasound was normal so they decided it was a pulled muscle. They didn’t do xrays or ct anything. She said i could have damaged something, but i don’t remember the name. She said they had to test it with puncture type of test they didn’t want to do unless they had to. But if the pain gets worse or changes, come back.

At 0630 she said i can go. I signed all my stuff and right after i got dressed they came in to do my vitals! Wtf i was already released😱 they never did my vitals since triage and i was there for four hours!

The next day i called my obgyn, he is on vacation until the 8th. They had another doctor look at my ultrasound and said it was normal. They said next opening for my doctor is the 18th so i took it.

Meanwhile, two weeks have passed and im still in pain, sometimes debilitating. Last night i slept like dog shit. I kept waking up in pain, sometimes even in my dreams i could feel it. About 0400 hours i woke up and my bladder was killing me, felt like a cystitis flare up. I haven’t had a flare up in a long time. I got up and took pyridium.

Today i finally broke down and called my regular doctor, who i loathe. At first she said she’d talk to the nurse and see if they wanted to see me today or another day, then she asked about bladder issues and i told her about this morning.

She put me on hold for a few then came back to tell me to come in and do a ua and that would take at least 45 minutes for results, then they’d fit me in. So i went in and did that and went back about an hour later.

She brought me right back and did vitals and all that jazz. Then doctor j came in. He immediately chewed me out for taking pyridium before a ua. I told him i wasn’t aware at 4am that i would be coming in for a ua. He replied with, “even so you can’t take pyridium before a ua, it messes up the test.” No shit sherlock you just fucking said that you idiot.

He said despite the fact i took pyridium, the ua looked good. I told him i didn’t think i had a uti anyway, it feels like a cystitis flareup. He said, “a what?” I repeated it and he wrote down whatever… he probably had to go look it up after i left. Probably doesn’t know what cystitis is any more than he knew what glutamine is.

He asked what i was there for then. I told him about my hospital visit and ultrasound and that they did no xray or anything. He looked it up and said, “well looks like they already did the workup for me.”

He told me he’ll send my urine in for further testing but back pain takes weeks and even months to heal. He said if it isn’t better in a couple weeks to come back and he’ll do an xray. 😵

He said he hurt his back two months ago and it’s just now starting to feel better. So what is it? He’s in pain so i should be too? That was that and he sent me on my way.

I’m pretty disheartened right now, feels like nobody ive seen thus far really gives a fuck about this pain. If i was asking for pain meds all the time I’d understand, but i rarely do. I’m scared of medication. I just want this fixed, that’s all.

Chronic interstitial cystitis: a disease that causes your bladder to spasm and bleed.