Cat

My dingbat pussycat forgot the format of the thermostat in the place i housesat. He’s a rat of a copycat, an acrobat looking like a nonfat muskrat, killed a gnat-splat, flat as a doormat sitting at the laundromat- nonstop chitchchat, i love my cat.
Copyright @ Sil Hattaavah 2019

Goodbye Toxicity

I Awake To A Coffee
And Think Of The Joy
We Felt, Him And MeA
So I Thought, What A PloY

The Sea Is So Dark
As Are His Eyes
His Deceptive Heart
InFlicts Painful Lies

My Feet Are TiRed
My Heart IS WeaK
I Feel So WIred
But I Want To Sleep

There IS No Paradise
ThIs Is A TerriblE Hymn
Forever Traumatized
I SaW The Monster Inside Him

The Tide Is Out
BeEn Out All Day
It IS LiKe A Drought
All Through Coos Bay

I Could Take A Walk
To The Mid Of Sea
Forget The Clock
And ForgeT Me

My Eyes Are Closed
My MoUth Is Opened
My Body Soaked
All Trust Is Broken

Goodbye To The Ones Above
Goodbye To The Lying Snakes
Goodbye To My Toxic Love
Goodbye Sociopathic Mate

Originally Written July 14, 2013
Copyright @ Sil Hattaavah 2013

deficient

I need to be your obsession
Your unrivaled, exclusive lady
Your treasured possession
Desperate to be your only

Descending is my spirit
I feel so bitterly isolated
I am unacceptably deficient
And this isn’t lightly stated

Sufficient I know I am not
Destined to be eternally lifeless
All comfort and pride is lost
This agony feels like an illness

Oh what a revolting likelihood
I’ve become empty and unnecessary
Or maybe this is where I’ve stood
Being buried beneath an ugly tree

This dirt is so cold and wet
My tears turning it to mud
The silence loud, like a roaring jet
I fear i will not again glimpse the sun

Every action is counterproductive
I am nothing but despicable
Maybe I should just give in
And disappear in this hole

Originally Written March 20, 2012
Copyright @ 2012 Sil Hattaavah

not titled

I fear we are ignorant and blind
Is happiness just a fantasy?
Do we all just desperately try
To continue our believing?

I have shredded the future
Destroying everything dear to me
Obliterated a life of rapture
Undeserving to longer  breathe

I can’t imagine how to right this
My complete vitality is at stake
Suffocating, i am finished
Nobody but myself to blame

Overwhelming throb is sickening
This punishment killing me slow
Aching in my heart is agonizing
The accountability is mine, I know

Apprehension is at my door
I feel the end coming strong
Just stay in bed forever
I Hope I’m proven wrong

Originally Written March 19, 2012
Copyright @ Sil Hattaavah 2012

Circling the Drain

i am nearing the end of this bottomless pit
i can hear the clock, the faster it ticks
please don’t allow me to die like this
pathetically drowning in this un-bliss

i am crying, don’t you see my pain?
pillow case soaked in matted bloodstains
everything i’ve ever known circling the drain
becoming too much for my weak, little brain

all of my thoughts are oh, so very sad
my dreams are being ripped up like mad
covered in cold and wet, dirty sand
i can no longer even see my hands

never will i be Your precious angel
i have viewed it from many angles
my life is in Your hands to mangle
my mind feels like it’s being strangled

You don’t see if but i’m falling fast
if You don’t save me i will crash
tell me good-bye, i am like a rash
throw me out like yesterday’s trash

a wrench inside my beating heart
is ripping my whole life apart
i look far but i can’t find the start
i’m falling, falling into this dark

nothing more than a sand flea
on a vastly, random ocean beach
soak my dreadful body in bleach
kill me like a blood sucking leach

Originally written January 14, 2012
Copyright © 2012 Sil Hattaavah. All Rights Reserved.

invisible

a wilting flower in the middle of a field
surrounded by a vast, colourful rainbow of pedals
is me, dehydrated, withering away, cold

i’m making the pretty field so bland
i need to be plucked with my deathly appearance
i depreciate the value of this land

i’m falling and falling and nobody can see
suffocating in a thick, negative bliss
trying to remember why i am like this

but as time progresses i just fall deeper
and i continue to lose touch with the hunger
the desire, the drive to do better

the empty stormis rapidly closing in
the wind is ripping at my skin
losing this battle of torment within

the shadows overlapping each other
the dirt is swirling all over
i’m just a mess, does it even matter?

no, as of late i do not believe so
my heart is beating abnormally slow
the time is nearing for me to go

i am almost breathless under all this weight
my body being crushed the longer i stay
i feel so hopeless even as i pray

everything is lost and i am stuck
no fingers are digging to pull me up
i am nearly buried in this tiny cup

“invisible”  originally written December 16, 2011
Copyright © 2011 Sil Hattaavah. All Rights Reserved.

All of Eternity

Copyright @ 2013 Hattaavah

Nothing short of something rare
is this emotion I suddenly feel
There is a fire growing inside
with such a deep, warm flare
Overpowering, so intensely real
My mind is melting, I am so high

As I sit and wait for your return
my heart flutters with a wicked race
I miss you so much mu lovely dear
it is fantastikal, this sweet burn
and magnifies with every look on your face
You make me want to love you forever

The clouds are clear, the weather beautiful
I want nothing more than your loving touch
You are home and I couldn’t be more complete
I want to spend every second with your soul
You make every part of my body blush
Please, my love, just hold me for all eternity

Sea of Flowers

Copyright @ Hattavah 2013

I once was just an empty soul
wandering through a world of hell
i took my clothes off and i fell
i started to cry and scream and yell

exhausted from torment my tears are red
so of the anguish my legs are like lead
i sink to the bottom the sea is my bed
need to stop breathing to numb my head

As i pray here, naked on my knees
I ask the Lord above God please
Send me one who will not forsake me
to not mince words and set my pain free

Carefully he must have listened
He sent and angel to make me glisten
when we make love i id like heaven
he broke me from my awful prison

This love is like a blooming flower
increasing with every passing hour
in this precious charm is nothing sour
So content now, only he has the power

You’re all I see throughout the land
Each moment with you you’re like sand
I tell you this is where I stand
My heart is yours, its in your hand.


Zero Taint

Copyright @ 2013 Hattaavah

Beneath the slender, swaying trees
He holds my hand in a gentle breeze
upon our heads are falling leaves

Those eyes are like a peaceful ocean
a magical and wondrous potion
He fills me with such original emotion

His every word sincere and kind
every touch so loving it blows my mind
Nothing like this will I again find

He makes me so emphatic
Every action ever so romantic
He is my drug and I his addict

My sexy, crazy, mnemonic saint
this body satisfied and faint
I see only love and zero taint

On that first night the love flowed
I’ve been in the spacey lala mode
I am staying on this euphoric road